New Year's Meditations

I finally feel that things may be settling back to some sort of normal around here. The other day when I watched a lot of TV, I also caught perhaps half an hour of the CMA music awards from Nashville. That was very interesting.

It is starting to be the normal January temperature here, though it is due to cool down again by the end of the week. Yes, January is normally quite hot, I think it was 36oC here today or something like that. We haven't airconditioning or adequate insulation in this house, but it does cool down early, though tonight is not one of those days.

Our middle daughter is due to have her eyes checked again. This is one of the jobs I beat myself up about all last year, so that is good. My husband is taking her so he understands exactly what is going on with her eyes. They quite possibly will be the same as last time, not requiring glasses, but she was saying it was hard to read. Now we will know for sure if this is the case.

I am late with this post. I spent a lot of time yesterday and the day before? reading all the posts and found them all interesting.

At some point I was reminded of the first few chapters of Lauraine Snelling's novel A Dream To Follow where Thorliff was wanting guidance about his life and he got some excellent advice from his pastor. If the book was still here I would be able to quote it for you. Something about doing it while you are going along.

I was relaying details of the antics my kids have been up to the past few days. A friend said she would have asked for more docile children it would have been easier. I feel I have one of those, some aren't. Docile is an interesting word to look up in a dictionary. I keep thinking of cows sitting in the grass chewing their cud or maybe something dopey, but not the case.

I would have asked for a certain coloured hair too. I was looking at a lady with the same colour of hair as mine and looked at her children who also don't share her hair colour. I liked the ones I got, and I'm sure she likes hers, though they are different to each other, ie mine and hers.

My hope this year is more ideas about handling my opposite of docile children while I enjoy the mostly docile one. I suppose that means more time just thinking and reflecting. Being still.

Unfortunately that word is Resistant to authority or discipline; recalcitrant, and I wouldn't use that to describe my children, but there is a slight element to it. It makes me feel like I have failed. So I haven't dwelt on that any further.

Speaking of which, I am watching SuperNanny USA tonight, and possibly I have been too soft. I lost my backbone after my step-children left. Although I think on my eldest I was kind of following perhaps Dr. Spock, it was the late 80s. However, my son, while he is not living at home with us, is a very lovely person. At nearly 21 he is very good and very kind to me.

I think though some elements of it are related to our environment, and perhaps being busy. But, they were like that at an early age. So maybe some of it is genetic. I just have to do the best I can, and I think that is my point, I feel I need fresh ideas and enthusiasm and to be more positive.

My docile child has been like that all along and was a lovely gift at a time where I could do with it I suppose. Her environment lent itself to some swearing. I have been trying to explain that is not a word to use, but as she seems the good in everybody I suppose she thinks that her friend wouldn't use the word if it was bad. However, she has been pushed quite a lot before she said it and I suppose needs a replacement word. She had a lot to say about that. Actually two words came out this week. I felt I needed a manual.

Do you see me yelling, probably not. I pace myself so I can cope, my husband is a good help. I make sure I have the energy for the day at hand. Lots of years of practise I suppose. All my light bulb moments came in my hometown in my last house, I must have been in the years aged between 36 and 39. I can remember walking down the hallway.

When I am tired I have been known not to fully recognise that the lollypop lady is indeed standing in the middle of the road, or start dropping things when doing things like making tea/dinner. So I accept that on paper I am or appear to be lazy, but I am not prepared to drop things or accidently injure myself or run anybody over. So lesson learnt.

The other is "there are no free lunches", so I didn't go looking for any instant cures.

However, healthy eating works wonders. It is hard to describe in what areas. So if you can manage to find simple healthy recipes you will be rewarded.

The area I am not good at yet, is small town living and the things that go with that, the extra parental pressures, I think this is how these challenges to my parenting have come up.

My marriage? Small town living has brought unexpected things from that as well. When I mean small town, you know around 1,000. Village life I may be able to handle, though I'd expect it may be similar. Small towns I was going to avoid, but here we are.

I have nothing else that I dream about. I think I will get clearer direction when we get our second house ready to live in. I really need clear direction about living in it and have been seeking it for awhile. All else will fall into place I think.